Lessons Learned Through 'Participating'

"Do you know what my favorite part of the game is? The opportunity to play." - Mike Singletary

Stop and read that again. Mike Singletary's favorite part of the game is the opportunity to play. I’d by lying if I didn’t agree 100% with that statement. I have had the opportunity to play the sport I so dearly love, soccer, for 17 years (I played a solid 14 years competitive and the last three years for fun as an old lady.) I have to say, soccer not only helped me define who I am, but taught me so many life lessons I would haven’t gotten otherwise. With all these talks about cutting athletics and athletic money, I wanted to give a different side, a side that most people can’t remember or are too young to realize about their experience. So here are the lessons I’ve learned from playing a team sport.

1. Teamwork

Hello Captain Obvious! I know this is obvious, but I didn’t realize how important this was until I entered the "real world" and worked in a team with people whose personalities did not always match up with mine. I do believe that my success so far in my working life has been because I understand what makes a team work. By learning at such a young age that being a great teammate doesn’t mean you always get the credit you deserve or always doing what is best for you, but rather what is best for the team. Not only was I able to learn about the importance of working in a team environment, but I also had to learn how to deal with different personalities, especially those whom you do not care for. I learned very quick how to relate to different individuals in order for everyone to successfully work together. That is such an important lesson to learn and why I believe that my teams in the workplace environment has been successful, because at the end I can’t succeed without the support of my team.

Lesson: Individuals may win games, but to ultimate success is only gained by a team effort.

2. Accountability

There is no worse feeling (OK, exaggerated) then when your team is counting on you to come through and you let them down. Through accountability you grow dependability and consistency. Both are characteristics that will separate you from others. While I played soccer I was the goalie for a large portion of the time. I loved the position and the accountability that it forced me to carry. If the ball went in the back of the net, that was my fault, I failed at my job. I knew that I had made an error and I took the blame, there was no one else. I hated that feeling. I worked hard to learn my position and the skills required to succeed so when the time came, my team had faith in me that I would be there to protect our net. Now in my real job, I do not want to be the only person who fails when the presentation is due, or the report is due. I will not let my myself or my team down, because i have learned how horrible that feeling is, to be 'the one.'

Lesson: In life, people depend on you to be consistent and the only way to get there is by being accountable for your actions. Additionally, people will respect you more when you take responsibility for your actions rather than make excuses.

3. Self Confidence

I won’t deny it for a second, I gained my self confidence because I became good at my position. Every time I had a big save or shut a team out, I gained pride in myself. There were many times where it came down to me to keep us in the lead and the more successes I had the better I felt about myself. For people that know me personally, school was NEVER my strong point. Everything always came easier to my sister and brother and I would compare myself to them, which only discouraged me. The way for me to get my confidence was not by getting an ‘A’ on a test, it was by making a big save or winning a game. The confidence that I developed in soccer eventually was able to be applied to other areas of my life once I left the field. After I ‘retired’ from soccer, I never knew what it was like to be just me, without 10 other girls supporting me. However, because of the feats that I accomplished during my athletic career, I knew I’d be able to handle it. I was able to believe in myself and looking back on past accomplishments, prove to myself that I would be able to deal with whatever came my way.

Lesson: Sports build self confidence that can transcend athletics.

4. Failure

One of the cruelest lessons to learn as a child is when playing for "fun" doesn’t cut it anymore and you either win or lose. I’m not going to lie, at 27, I still HATE to lose. In fact, the team I play on now we only lose about one game during a regular season and that one loss still irks me. At some point though, children need to understand that even if they try their hardest, they might not win and as long as they tried their best, there is no shame in that. We don't always get the promotion we want, or get the clients we so desperately need, but it's okay as long as you don't stop and you learn from your mistakes.

Lesson: Life’s not fair, you don’t always win. The sooner a person can grasp this concept the easier it will be to accept the defeat. It really is true, a person can learn more from a loss than a win.

5. Friendships

Recently my high school participated in an alumni football game with a cross town rival. It was a great evening. As I stood around with my friends from high school, it hit me that these guys still carried a bond. Most of them had not only grown up playing football together, but also baseball. They shared memories of great successes and greater defeats but their relationships ran deep. It got me thinking about my past teammates, most of us played together for 6 years all year around. Our bond during those middle and high school years was rock solid. We accepted each other for who we were and yes there were fights (we were teenage girls) but at the end of the day, we got over it for the betterment of the team. We learned to accept each other for who we were. We were a family. Those girls, were my sisters. We were friends not only when we were on the team, but also in school. Some of the relationships were with people I would have never gotten to know. Today, when I talk to my past teammates, there is that special bond, which will last the rest of our lives. Even though we aren’t presently teammates, you never lose love for a part of them will always reside with you.

Lesson: Being on a sports team teaches you how to overlook differences in others for the good of the team. Sports can teach a person how to be a friend.

6. Sucking it up.

There were countless times I wanted to quit. For instance, the pre-season game we had and we lost and we had to run after the game... a lot.. and it was hot (like over 100 degrees on the turf hot)... it was the only time I ever wanted to vomit from a workout up to that point. It was absolutely brutal. There were the times that I was being a teenage girl and I was tired of dealing with everyone and I wanted to do something else. There were even times where I was angry because we had soccer every night in the fall and then in the spring every weekend which really impeded on a girls social life. Luckily, my parents didn’t believe in quitting anything once you started it (other than piano, story for another day). So I sucked it up. I played a season with a cracked vertebra, which was not identified until years later. But that’s what I had to do, my team was depending on me. My 50% effort was better than most peoples 120% effort. Unfortunately for me, I could never do anything 50%. So I played, I played through a lot of injuries (other than broken bones). Now, yeah sometimes I don’t like things that occur at my job, but it’s my job. I suck it up and move on, because that is what I have to do.

Lesson: Learning to overcome difficult situations and moving on is a vital lesson to learn. There are too many people that quit when the going gets rough. People don’t succeed by running from their issues, but rather facing them head on and dealing with them.

So how do I feel about the cutting of athletics, I get it. But I see the other side, I see the lessons that cannot taught in a classroom. I see that, without soccer, the drive and work ethic that I had developed would not have existed, because I would have never believed in myself had it not been for my opportunity to play a sport. My athletic career, whether I want to admit it or not, played a significant role in my character today. I was also able to play on a co-ed boys and girls team, both in my younger days (around third grade) and when I was in middle school, the lessons I learned while playing on a co-ed team are unmeasurable. I also have a great set of parents, which helps things, I do realize that. I also was lucky to play with a great group of girls and we had two coaches that couldn’t have been better for us, from fourth grade to twelfth grade. All I am asking is the next time people start minimizing sports in high school/middle school , stop and think about the life lessons that these kids are gaining. I know my family would have been able to support me in the pay to play fee, but everyone is not as fortunate as me. What happens to those kids, those life lessons, that they probably needed more than me?

Best Lesson: Sometimes the best teachers are not located within the four walls of a school.

Take it easy.

FYI - I'm not sure what the status of athletics is in Keystone Oaks, so this was not intended for just K.O. As my hometown continuously fights over athletics in school, I thought it was important to discuss the other side of the sports, the side most people do not want to discuss. I also realize that this was my experience and may not be like others. As I have learned it's all in what you make of your situation. Thank you.